Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Entries from May 13th, 2009

Calcutta R&R

May 13th, 2009 · 1 Comment

We’re swamped with Wired reporting duties for the remainder of the day, so today’s NtHWS Extras installment must once again be a visual quickie. The photo above depicts several African-American GIs enjoying rickshaw rides in Calcutta, the only Indian city with a nearby rest camp willing to accept black soldiers. White American officers, by contrast, […]

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The Mother of All TD Dances

May 13th, 2009 · 6 Comments

For reasons best left unsaid, Microkhan found himself watching Bundesliga highlights yesterday evening. Not a bad time at all, but the Germans’ post-goal celebrations really disappoint. The whole running-toward-the-crowd-with-spread-arms thing is almost wholly lacking in imagination, and does little to express the pure joy of athletic genius. This got us thinking about the celebratory dance […]

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First Contact: The Dena’ina

May 13th, 2009 · Comments Off on First Contact: The Dena’ina

Perhaps our favorite passage in all of American literature can be found on the last page of The Great Gatsby. No, not that celebrated last line about boats fighting the current. Rather it’s the snippet located a few paragraphs before the end, in which Nick Carraway waxes rhapsodic about Dutch explorers: And as the moon […]

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How to be a Millionaire

May 13th, 2009 · 1 Comment

Step one: Join the Hells Angels. Step two: Rat everyone out to the Mounties. Step three: Profit, to the tune of $2.5 million. More on Canada’s “Operation SharQc” here. With the Hells Angels leadership in disarray, it may be their sons who start to step up.

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The Glory of Jungle Juice

May 12th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Glory of Jungle Juice

We have to jet downtown for an evening of semi-responsible alcohol consumption, so today’s edition of NtHWS Extras will be exceedingly brief. It consists, in fact, of little more than the cartoon at right, which Microkhan discovered in the archives of the United States Army Military History Institute. It comes from a scrapbook donated by […]

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What’s Killing Our Bats?

May 12th, 2009 · Comments Off on What’s Killing Our Bats?

A veteran caver has a theory about the scourge of White Nose Syndrome. Meanwhile, farmers are starting to fret. Nature’s bug zappers are a lot cheaper than pesticides.

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The Natural Rate of Divorce

May 12th, 2009 · 3 Comments

America’s sky-high divorce rate is often cited as a prime example of our moral decay. But how many other nations avoid such matrimonial chaos only through the maintenance of draconian laws? Microkhan would like to direct your attention toward Uganda, which has recently experienced a surge in divorces. The culprit seems to be the repeal […]

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Take a Load Off, Insan

May 11th, 2009 · 5 Comments

In today’s installment of NtHWS Extras, we’re gonna revisit one of Microkhan’s very favorite topics: headhunting. Perhaps the most famous anthropological study of the practice is Renato Rosaldo’s Ilongot Headhunting, 1883-1974. The Ilongot, who inhabit the Filipino island of Luzon, are peculiar in that they don’t preserve their captured heads as keepsakes. Rather, they discard […]

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The Best Wikipedia Article Ever

May 11th, 2009 · 1 Comment

Hands down, the winner.

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When the Disease Beats the Cure

May 11th, 2009 · 5 Comments

Last night, Microkhan finally got around to completing the Stanley Kubrick circuit by watching Paths of Glory. Suffice to say that the film is a potent reminder of the World War I’s absolute ghastliness; we can scarcely imagine what it must have been like to be an 18-year-old lad in the trenches, ordered to venture […]

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The Pride of Sagaing Division

May 11th, 2009 · 1 Comment

The handsome logo at right belongs to Zeya Shwe Myay FC, one of eight teams that will soon compete in Burma’s National League Cup, the nation’s first-ever professional soccer league. Matches kick off this coming Saturday, with the early money on Mandalay’s Yadanarpon FC as the prohibitive favorite; the team is owned by a drinking-water […]

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Form of…a Hawk?

May 8th, 2009 · 6 Comments

Microkhan has to jet downtown to beg The Man for affordable health insurance (prognosis: grim), so no Bad Movie Friday this week. But we’ve got the next-best thing to reward you for a work week well-done—Manimal, dude, Manimal. How Microkhan loved this cheese back in his grade-school days, and how we wept when NBC unceremoniously […]

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Comfort Girls at the Ledo Stockade

May 8th, 2009 · 4 Comments

An appreciable slice of Now the Hell Will Start takes place in the Ledo Stockade, an United States Army prison in North-East India. The place was known for the casual brutality of its guards, several of whom had worked as chain-gang supervisors back in Uncle Sugar. The stockade’s abysmal conditions play a key role in […]

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Paint the Far Corners

May 8th, 2009 · 1 Comment

In the process of prepping a special series on first contacts (which will launch next week), Microkhan recently became acquainted with the work of John Webber, an English painter best known for accompanying Captain James Cook to Hawaii. Fortunately for us, Webber did not share Cook’s bummer of fate, and went on to create some […]

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Freedmen and the Five Tribes

May 8th, 2009 · Comments Off on Freedmen and the Five Tribes

A few years back, Microkhan wrote a lengthy Wired opus about a thorny conflict in Oklahoma: The battle over whether descendants of freedmen should be allowed to join the Native American tribes that their ancestors had belonged to. Now the Obama administration may be entering the fray: In a letter sent to U.S. Attorney General […]

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The Burma Surgeon

May 7th, 2009 · 16 Comments

Today’s edition of NtHWS Extras brings us the amazing tale of Dr. Gordon S. Seagrave, arguably one of the most selfless and impressive American expatriates of the 20th century. There is nary a peep about Seagrave in Now the Hell Will Start, primarily because he’s not the sort of bloke you can just casually mention […]

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Redeeming the Shillelagh

May 7th, 2009 · 1 Comment

The 1988 B-movie “classic” Bloodsport is notable for three things: Forest Whitaker’s nuanced supporting performance, Bolo Yeung‘s ‘roided-out pectorals, and the novel highlighting of non-Asian martial arts. Microkhan, for one, was first introduced to capoeira through the film, and has been a fan ever since (which meant that his time in Salvadaor de Bahia was […]

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Crack Your Back, Take Your Jack

May 7th, 2009 · Comments Off on Crack Your Back, Take Your Jack

British science writer Simon Singh is no fan of chiropractors. In fact, he thinks the vast majority of what they do is pure quackery, and he spends a fair chunk of his book Trick or Treatment? making that abundantly clear. Spinal adjustments that can alleviate a range of ailments? Pshaw, says Singh (as does Microkhan). […]

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“Crossover to the True Hybrid”

May 7th, 2009 · Comments Off on “Crossover to the True Hybrid”

When Microkhan posted yesterday about a California mule festival, he had no idea he was getting mixed up in a national spat. As several kind readers brought to our attention, the 40-year-old Mule Days celebration is a Johnny-come-lately compared to Mule Day (singular) in Columbia, Tenn. The hoedown in the Volunteer State is said to […]

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The Mustard Gas Legacy

May 6th, 2009 · 1 Comment

En route to the Indo-Burmese jungle, the main character in Now the Hell Will Start spent several weeks at a British rest camp called Deolali, about 125 miles from Bombay. Prior to World War II, the camp had been used as a holding area for British soldiers who’d completed their service in Asia, and were […]

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Grind Seasoning

May 6th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Microkhan never tires of reading about the semi-ingenious concealment methods employed by drug smugglers. In today’s installment, an American college student allegedly attempts to shimmy her way out of Guyana while carrying gobs of cocaine. Her defense upon being caught, as explained by her lawyer to a Guyanese magistrate, is somewhat less-than-convincing: “It was quite […]

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Triumph of the Mule People

May 6th, 2009 · 6 Comments

For an animal primarily known for its stubbornness, the humble mule inspires a surprising amount of human love and devotion. Microkhan recently became acquainted with mule fandom via Western Mule Magazine, a publication that led him to discover Mule Days in Bishop, Calif. Held annually over Memorial Day Weekend, Mule Days is a true whopper […]

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“Treasure Bath!”

May 6th, 2009 · 2 Comments

We rarely get misty-eyed over the celebrity deaths, but yesterday’s passing of Dom DeLuise really got to us. That’s because he helped form our earliest impression of Ancient Roman decadence, with his turn as a gluttonous, Nero-like emperor in History of the World Part I. (Above; language slightly NSFW.) To this day, we can’t read […]

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Oil Painting, Calisthenics, and Bombardment

May 5th, 2009 · 2 Comments

In the course of researching the Now the Hell Will Start chapter that deals with wartime prostitution, we stumbled upon a great little artifact called Morale-Building Activities in Foreign Armies. It’s an illustrated 1943 pamphlet that delves into the various methods used by both Axis and Allies to pep up their troops’ spirits. And it […]

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Combating Corruption with Sandwiches

May 5th, 2009 · Comments Off on Combating Corruption with Sandwiches

Indonesia regularly languishes near the bottom of Transparency International‘s corruption index; in the 2008 rankings, the world’s fourth-most populous nation came in tied for 126th, alongside Honduras, Uganda, and Mozambique. With everyone’s hand out when foreign investors come knocking, it’s no wonder that major development deals fall through all the time. So what’s to be […]

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The Secret Lives of Bank Tellers

May 5th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Secret Lives of Bank Tellers

We’ve long been looking for an excuse to shout-out Fresh Produce, an eclectic podcast that airs semi-regularly from “an undisclosed location in South London.” Thankfully, their latest show gave us a killer hook: The strange career of Jamaican rocksteady legend Phyllis Dillon. As recounted by Fresh Produce co-host Daddy Like, who spun Dillon’s fantastic “Don’t […]

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Hippos Get the Shaft

May 5th, 2009 · 3 Comments

In light of February’s horrific chimpanzee attack in Stamford, Connecticut legislators have proposed a sweeping ban on pets deemed capable of harming humans. And they’ve spared no effort in identifying animals who they’d like to render bestia non grata in the Nutmeg State. This entry in the bill’s verboten list caught Microkhan’s eye: (10) The […]

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“Anyone Should Have Seen Catastrophe Approaching”

May 4th, 2009 · 1 Comment

The Bengal Famine of 1943 receives barely two paragprahs’ worth of ink in Now the Hell Will Start, a lamentable oversight that we now hope to correct as part of NtHWS Extras Month. Our interest in the famine has less to do with its devastating scale—as many as 4 million Indians may have perished from […]

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The Fallibility of Folk Medicine

May 4th, 2009 · 4 Comments

Since folk-medicine techniques ostensibly develop over many centuries, one would think its practitioners would slowly come to realize that some practices are actually harmful rather than helpful. But, alas, it turns out our species isn’t always aces at connecting cause to effect. And so we keep using treatments that are several degrees worse than doing […]

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