Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Living here on the cramped island of Manhattan, where “nature” amounts to little more than the trees in Marcus Garvey Park, it’s easy to feel disconnected from our ranching brethren out West. So I occasionally try and force myself to get in touch with the ways of livestock management, the better to appreciate the care and technology—yes, technology—that goes into my occasional plate of dibi.

While recently perusing this detailed compendium of must-have goat-ranching supplies, I came across a mention of Dr. Naylor Dehorning Paste. It’s basically a simple preparation of lye and lime that, when applied to the heads of young livestock, prevents horns from ever growing in. This ostensibly eliminates the need for dehorning later in life, a process that involves some extremely scary-looking instruments.

It turns out that Dr. Naylor has something of an arch-nemesis in Dr. Larson’s, the other leading manufacturer of dehorning paste. Both have been around for upward of six decades, and were founded by real-live veterinarians (rather than fictional mascots such as Tipsy McStagger). Who makes the superior dehorning paste? Microkhan hopes his more livestock-inclined readers might answer that for the rest of us.

More on Dr. Howard “Wing” Naylor here. And a first-hand account of his product’s efficacy here. (Warning: Potentially objectionable material for vegetarians.)