Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

If a Massachusetts pigeon breeder gets his way, out-of-state squabs could soon be aves non grata on the state’s film and TV sets. Bill Desmarais has coaxed the Massachusetts House of Representatives into considering H816 (PDF), more colloquially known as “An act relative to pigeons in motion pictures.” The bill’s text reads in full:

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives in General Court assembled, and by the authority of the same, as follows:

SECTION 1. Not withstanding any General Laws to the contrary, all pigeons that are used in motion pictures within Massachusetts must be licensed and banded within Massachusetts.

Having learned years ago about the corrosive effects of Smoot-Hawley, we can’t help but think this protectionist measure bodes ill for the future of our great nation. First it’ll be pigeons, then canines, then non-human primates. If you value the free flow of labor, please write to H816’s sponsor, State Sen. Michael J. Rodrigues. Let the “winged rats” achieve their maximum economic potential, regardless of their birthplace. Anything less would be un-American.