Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Entries from July 20th, 2009

Fatally Besotted

July 20th, 2009 · 10 Comments

Upon reading this tragic yet all-too-common tale from this morning’s New York Times, we were reminded of our long-held hypothesis that a huge number of homicides would never occur were it not for the ingestion of alcohol. Yet we’ve never really had a good sense of what percentage of killings involve inebriated parties—at least until […]

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The Lunar Also-Ran

July 20th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Lunar Also-Ran

As we spend today celebrating the 30th anniversary of mankind’s first visit to the Moon, it’s worth noting that America’s space-race triumph was far from pre-ordained. In fact, the smart money circa 1963 would have been on the Soviets reaching the goal first, due to the seldom recognized genius of Sergei Korolev. The man responsible […]

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One at a Time, Please

July 17th, 2009 · 7 Comments

This week’s installment of Bad Movie Friday brings us some serious high-concept nonsense: the 1985 Kurt Thomas vehicle Gymkata, which sought to cash in on the nation’s post-Mary Lou Retton love affair with gymnastics. And what better way than to take a slightly past-his-prime male gymnast and insert him into a limp ninja flick? We […]

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Goons Never Go Out of Style

July 17th, 2009 · Comments Off on Goons Never Go Out of Style

A recent rash of moonshine deaths in Gujarat got us thinking about the state’s failed prohibition policy (PDF). While liquor bans may have some discernible impact in isolated villages, they’re doomed to failure in larger regions that are tied to wet neighbors via modern highways. But the black market for legit liquor is only for […]

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Goes Down Smooth as Fire

July 16th, 2009 · 5 Comments

Anyone who’s ever sampled Thunderbird is unlikely to forget the experience—or, for that matter, to recall it with much fondness. The stuff is the very epitome of bum wine, heavy on the alcohol and the commensurate taste of metallic burning. This detailed review breaks it down for the broke oenophiles in the audience: For all […]

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Doin’ It All for Xbalanque

July 16th, 2009 · 5 Comments

Though the practice of seppuku is virtually synonmous with ritual suicide, it’s worth noting that feudal Japan hardly had a monopoly on ceremonial self-slaughter. The Mayans were also enthusiasts, though the details of their process obviously differed from those of their peers across the Pacific. As this fascinating paper makes clear, the Mayan method involved […]

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The Final Word on Cloud Seeding?

July 16th, 2009 · 2 Comments

India’s making a big, expensive stab at determining once-and-for-all whether man can make it rain. (No, not in the figurative sense.) Color us a little skeptical; we’ve always thought that positive cloud-seeding results were often due more to luck than the effects of sprinkled silver iodide. (For the umpteenth time, people, correlation is not causation.) […]

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The Eyes of Ms. T.J. Eckleburg Diaz

July 15th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Eyes of Ms. T.J. Eckleburg Diaz

We recently stumbled across the photo above while sifting through the National Archives “Picturing the Century” website, in search of images of child coal miners. Something about the two girls’ sharply differing expressions stuck with us—the one on the left strikes us as the contemplative member of the duo, the one on the right the […]

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The Mysterious Mr. Mason

July 15th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Talk about one-hit wonders: the above tune, famously sampled in a couple of hip-hop gems, appears to be the only single ever churned out by Lee Mason & His Orchestra. The group is so obscure, in fact, that it’s often not even credited with “Shady Blues”; the song was apparently re-released in the U.K. under […]

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Poison on the March

July 15th, 2009 · Comments Off on Poison on the March

A loyal reader recently sent us the above graph, culled from a recent issue of Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. The accompanying text only explains what’s obvious to even the untrained eye: as the age-adjusted death rates linked to firearms and motor-vehicle accidents have declined, poison has become an increasingly efficient killer of Americans. Does […]

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The King of Guyana, via The Cleve

July 14th, 2009 · 4 Comments

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the murder of Father Bernard Darke, a Jesuit priest who worked as a photographer for a Catholic newspaper in Guyana. Darke was beaten to death while snapping pictures of an anti-government protest. His assailants were all members of one of the most curious quasi-religious groups to ever grace the […]

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The Man Behind Eddie

July 14th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Man Behind Eddie

We were never the biggest fan of Iron Maiden’s music, with the possible exception of “Prowler” (later memorably covered by the great Trans Am). But we’ve always had a soft spot for the band’s ghoulish cover art, starring a wrinkly, gore-loving skeleton called Eddie. So yesterday, when we saw a fellow Harlemite non-ironically sporting a […]

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Airplanes Out to Pasture

July 14th, 2009 · 11 Comments

Depression v2.0 may be rough all around, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t more than a few economic winners amidst the widespread misery. You already knew about foreclosure specialists and pawn shops; now cast your jealous gaze toward the folks who operate commercial airplane graveyards, where flailing carriers are stashing the aging jets they can […]

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“Dim the Lights and Turn Up the Jodeci”

July 13th, 2009 · 4 Comments

Been meaning to post this Lost Boyz classic for ages, but it took the invention of the Grooveshark widget to provide the necessary technological push. We were definitely latecomers to this whole album, and for years our fandom extended only as far as the remixed version of “The Yearn” (which we actually scooped up on […]

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Mailroom Intelligence

July 13th, 2009 · Comments Off on Mailroom Intelligence

We first fell in love with the oral-history format eons ago, when a copy of Studs Terkel’s The Good War found its way into our grubby hands. Ever since, we’ve rarely passed up the opportunity to comb through typed-up question-and-answer sessions with the sorts of characters who otherwise would be excluded from the history books. […]

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The Western Union Economy

July 13th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Western Union Economy

As we continue to plow through Patrick Radden Keefe’s excellent The Snakehead, we’ve been giving tons of thought to the impact of immigrant remittances. We never cease to be amazed by how much working-class immigrants are able to save and then contribute to the families they left behind—so much, in fact, that some economies become […]

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“I Don’t Like the Axe…”

July 10th, 2009 · 1 Comment

After a holiday hiatus, Bad Movie Friday returns with a true gem: 1987’s The Barbarians, starring bodybuilding twins Peter and David Paul (aka the Barbarian Brothers). Though obviously a blatant attempt to copy the then-successful Conan blueprint, The Barbarians attempted to infuse the swords-and-sorcery formula with ample amounts of proto-ironic humor. More often than not, […]

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Doughy Justice in Cameroon

July 10th, 2009 · Comments Off on Doughy Justice in Cameroon

Cameroon’s Ministry of Trade does not mess around when it comes to enforcing the nation’s new price-control regime: Yesterday, officials of the Ministry of Trade uncovered a clandestine bakery at the Etoudi quarter in Yaounde which uses expired products to produce bread. One of the products that was seized and displayed at the site was […]

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White With Fright

July 10th, 2009 · 3 Comments

There’s an anecdote in Now the Hell Will Start regarding an Assamese tea planter whose arm was chomped off by a Bengal tiger. According to the primary source—a diary kept by an American officer—the trauma of the incident caused the poor planter’s hair to turn white virtually overnight. (The specific time span isn’t mentioned, but […]

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Severely Burnt French Toast

July 9th, 2009 · 7 Comments

We’re on a Wired deadline this afternoon, so we’re gonna outro early with a classic hoops clip: a young Vince Carter absolutely posterizing French center/stiff Frédéric Weis. Yes, we realize you’ve seen it before; trust us, it’s worth a second (or tenth) look, if only for the confused expression on Weis’s face at the end […]

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The Washington Generals of Rome

July 9th, 2009 · 3 Comments

Perhaps due to our early exposure to the Mel Brooks versus Gregory Hines fight scene in History of the World: Part I, we always figured that trident-and-net gladiators—known in Latin as retiarii—were decidedly badass. For years, in fact, we’ve always claimed that, should we ever suddenly be cast back to the year 100 A.D. and […]

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“Amorous Paranoia”

July 9th, 2009 · Comments Off on “Amorous Paranoia”

The tragic death of former Tennessee Titans quarterback Steve McNair—one of the toughest competitors to ever play the position—gives us a chance to loop back to one of Microkhan’s most dicussed topics: suicide. For those who don’t already know, McNair perished in a murder-suicide perpetrated by his young girlfriend. We’ve long been morbidly fascinated with […]

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“Stolen by the Beast Who Has No Name…”

July 8th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Yesterday’s riff on Medieval weaponry got us thinking about one of of our favorite Saturday-morning shows of yore: the cartoon version of Dungeons & Dragons. To be totally honest, we were never really big on the game behind the series—guess we suffer from that whole lack-of-imagination thing, and thus needed moving images spoon-fed into our […]

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The Trick to Extortion

July 8th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Granted, a 46-year-old exotic dancer in Moorehead, Minnesota, is unlikely to understand the delicate economics of successful extortion. But she still should’ve realized that her scheme to squeeze a North Dakota pastor would end badly if she kept pressing for hush money. Given that she hadn’t picked a wealthy target, Bunny Byington really should’ve kept […]

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Holy War in China

July 8th, 2009 · Comments Off on Holy War in China

In getting up to speed on the Uighur riots in China, we’ve been spending appreciable time delving into the history of the nation’s numerous Muslim rebellions. No 19th-century history of China is complete without an extensive section about these uprisings, which were eventually put down in the most brutal fashion imaginable. We’re particularly enamored with […]

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Annals of Unnecessary Legislation

July 8th, 2009 · 2 Comments

By any reasonable measure, scleral tattooing—that is, the injection of ink into the eyeball—is far from a widespread fad. As far as we can determine, in fact, a grand total of three people have had their corneas inked for non-medical reasons. They are body-modification enthusiasts whose story made a stir on The Tubes two years […]

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NIMBYism and Marauding Monkeys

July 7th, 2009 · Comments Off on NIMBYism and Marauding Monkeys

At first glance, it seems odd that residents of Guayama, Puerto Rico, would object so strenuously to the construction of a new monkey-breeding facility—especially since, as opponents make clear, they don’t have a moral problem with vivisection. They’re instead spooked by the prospect of escapees. “What’s the big deal?” you might ask. After all, it’s […]

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“Feel My Blood Pumpin’ in My Veins…”

July 7th, 2009 · Comments Off on “Feel My Blood Pumpin’ in My Veins…”

Though we’ve largely shifted over to using the Grooveshark widget when sharing music with y’all, YouTube remains a go-to place for some truly rare cuts. A good case in point is Spanky Wilson‘s “Kissing My Love,” which we recently heard while trolling through WEFUNK Show #246. It’s a great prime example of the sort of […]

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The Middle Ages Get a Bad Rap

July 7th, 2009 · 3 Comments

So you think Medieval knights were condemned to lug around unwieldy swords, while their Renaissance counterparts bounced around with mere wisps of metal weaponry? Dr. Timothy Dawson believes you’ve been grossly misinformed—a fact he expounds upon at length in one of Microkhan’s all-time favorite publications, the Journal of Western Martial Art: These results show that […]

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Left Behind

July 7th, 2009 · Comments Off on Left Behind

One of our great journalistic mentors taught us that every saga is about money, at least on some level. That axiom certainly appears to hold true in Xinjiang, the western Chinese province that has suffered through days of deadly riots. As the Financial Times explained last year, Muslim Uighurs are incensed not only with the […]

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