We’ve been doing our best to work up a healthy antipathy toward Algeria, whose national team we face tomorrow in a must-win World Cup match. As big fans of The Battle of Algiers and longtime observers of the country’s ruinous civil war, our hearts go out to the Algerian generations that have endured so much bloodshed. How can we credibly hate on a nation that has suffered to the Nth degree? (Also, they make some pretty decent wine.)
To get us in the sporting mood, then, we’ve dug deep into Algeria’s post-revolutionary history. As it turns out, the place was once a hotbed of Soviet-style anti-Americanism, under the successive far-left regimes of Ahmed Ben Bella and Houari Boumediene (above). Time labeled the nation “The Cuba of Africa”, and Algeria’s state-controlled media went to great lengths to brand America as something akin to The Great Satan:
One weekly newspaper showed a picture of beaming Chinese girls from a Chinese film next to a scene from an American film on life in a nudist colony. It commented:
“On one side, humanity in its beauty; on the other, a world of mediocity, vulgarity and stupidity.”
So when our men take the pitch tomorrow, do not think of the ensuing 90-plus minutes as a mere sporting contest. Think of it as our chance for revenge against a nation that once considered us a pack of decadent imperialist curs. If that thought doesn’t get you shouting “U-S-A!” at the top of your lungs every time Jozy Altidore touches the ball, nothing will.
Update American nudists of the early 1960s, thou art avenged.
Jordan // Jun 22, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Venezuela also makes some damn good rum, if we’re talking about alcoholic redeeming qualities.
Brendan I. Koerner // Jun 22, 2010 at 9:44 pm
@Jordan: Thx for inspiring me to look up some Venezuelan rums. Now I’m gung-ho to try one this summer. I’m not usually big on liquor, but I do like good rum with a splash of lemon on a hot summer day. (Well, and Maker’s on the rocks, but that’s another story.)
Jordan // Jun 22, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Ron Diplomatico Reservea Exclusiva is probably one of the best value/dollar propositions for Venezuelan rums:
http://rumdood.com/2010/01/07/rum-review-ron-diplomatico-reserva-exclusiva/
http://www.DrinkUpNY.com/Diplomatico_Reserva_Exclusiva_p/s0620.htm
Santa Teresa 1796 is also very highly regarded, but tends to run a bit more.
tsg // Jun 23, 2010 at 12:46 pm
As an American, it pains to me admit that calling America “a world of mediocity, vulgarity and stupidity” is a far cry from inaccurate. “Jersey Shore,” anyone?
Brendan I. Koerner // Jun 23, 2010 at 1:12 pm
@tsg: Fair point. But it’s not polite to point out someone’s foibles. Unless the target was the USSR during the Cold War, in which case such behavior resulted in hilarity:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CaMUfxVJVQ
tsg // Jun 23, 2010 at 1:47 pm
@Brendan: Funny commercial (even w/out sound), but the physiques of those runway models are at least as common among American Wendy’s munching women as Soviet consumers of rationed Russian cuisine (which I’ve heard described as “dill seasoned with food.”)
Brendan I. Koerner // Jun 23, 2010 at 2:12 pm
@tsg: Another fair point. We are a fat, fat nation. And funny how Russian women are now held up as paragons of lean, blond beauty.