Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Unlike everyone’s favorite intergalactic MC, I am not bio-enhanced. And that means I must occasionally steal a day to focus on a single project, rather than multitasking as if I’d been blessed with multiple brains. Today is such a day, which means no meaningful Microkhaning ’til after the next sunrise. Apologies, and hope y’all understand.

I will leave you, though, with a bit of beer history. There was apparently a time when Meister Brau was marketed as a classy beverage, a campaign bolstered by the brand’s wise decision to enlist the services of gorgeous chanteuse Barbara McNair. Yet this was before Miller purchased the brand in the early 1970s, and turned it into a product for imbibers whose pockets contain only a few spare nickels. As a result, Meister Brau is now but a shell of its former self—and borderline toxic for anyone who dares toss it down their gullet. The reviewers over at Beer Advocate pull no punches:

Only consume this ice cold. Doesn’t taste like much of anything at ~35 degrees F or lower. If it warms, it becomes face wincing bad, as the flavors of corn grits, cooked cabbage and wet cardboard seep in. Things only go downhill from there. Bitterness is there for the whole ride, with a weighty metallic flavor that’s bolstered by the beer’s fizz. Finishes clean if ice cold. If not, residual flavors of metal and corn grits linger for far too long in the mouth.

Still, it sounds better than Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer.