Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Entries Tagged as 'food'

Animal Rights in Lahore

December 1st, 2009 · 3 Comments

We shudder to think how PETA might react if the organization had access to Lahore’s bustling camel market, which buzzed with more activity than usual in the runup to Eid al-Adha: The camel traders who brought camels from different cities of southern Punjab and Sindh were sold like hotcakes on Friday evening. The traders too […]

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Surrounded by Seeds

November 25th, 2009 · 1 Comment

As you tuck into your fourth helping of stuffing tomorrow evening, spare a few seconds to think about some of our less fortunate brothers from history—specifically the valiant disciples of Nikolai Vavilov, who deserves a place alongside Norman Borlaug in the pantheon of agricultural saints. Vavilov spent much of his career traveling the world in […]

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Too Big to Fail?

November 25th, 2009 · Comments Off on Too Big to Fail?

In the midst of our annual Thanksgiving pigout, we’ve often justified our gluttony on the grounds that the ensuing expansion of our girth really shouldn’t be frowned upon by society. After all, isn’t the disapproval of fatness of a modern phenomenon, egged along by the Fitness Industrial Complex? In Medieval times, we tell ourselves, our […]

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The White Rose City Awaits

October 30th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Not much Microkhan’ing today, alas, as we’re heading out of town once again—our last trip for the foreseeable future. The destination this time? York, Pennsylvania, for a costume ball honoring the nuptials of a Dirty Doll. We know nothing about York, save for the fact that it’s got a thorny racial history. We’d be much […]

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The Steakification of Blitzen

October 26th, 2009 · 5 Comments

The rapid warming of the Arctic may delight those keen on easier shipping, but it’s been nothing but terrible news for reindeer and their human overseers. On the Yamal Peninsula, the indigenous Nenet people are watching in horror as their precous herds break legs upon the gravel now popping up from the melted permafrost. And […]

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Burgoo Back in Vogue

September 14th, 2009 · Comments Off on Burgoo Back in Vogue

About a dozen years ago, there was a minor to-do in Kentucky over the health hazards of burgoo—specifically the possibility that the consumption of squirrel brains could lead to some variant of Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. The state’s government thus engaged in a pointed campaign to discourage the consumption of roadkilled squirrels, the brains of which are […]

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(Mid)Westworld

September 10th, 2009 · 7 Comments

For the second time in less than a month, we’re off to the Land of 10,000 Lakes for a brief, work-related visit. We’ll do our best to post from the road, though we may get too caught up in ironing our shirts and watching tonight’s Titans-Steelers tilt. Oh, and if anyone can recommend a good, […]

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What the Oklahoma Legislature Hath Wrought

September 9th, 2009 · 4 Comments

In researching the history of freedmen’s towns this morning, we came across a rather irresistible bit of trivia: the fact that Oklahomans have an official state meal. And what a doozy of a repast it is (PDF): Chicken-fried steak Barbecue pork Fried okra Squash Blackeyed peas Cornbread Biscuits Sausage gravy Grits Corn Strawberries Pecan pie […]

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The Grain Curve

August 27th, 2009 · Comments Off on The Grain Curve

Inspired in part by the “Meat is the new bread!” daring of the much maligned KFC Double Down, we recently found ourselves keen on learning more about the history of America’s love affair with flour. There is, of course, good reason that one of our most patriotic songs goes out of its way to shout […]

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When PR Underwhelms

August 21st, 2009 · 1 Comment

To be quite honest, we have no idea whether or not Allura Red AC (aka Red 40) causes kids to become decidedly non-mellow. But we do know that the food dye’s advocates would be well-advised to spiff up their flagship website, which thousands of concerned folks certainly visit every day via The Google. For starters, […]

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Citrus is Your Friend

August 19th, 2009 · Comments Off on Citrus is Your Friend

Yesterday we touched upon medicine’s tendency to stick with certain treatments even when there’s a lack of credible evidence attesting to their efficacy. But there’s a flip side to that foible—some physicians’ genius for concocting cures on the fly, with no lab or patient data to assist them. Such was certainly the case with scurvy, […]

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Doughy Justice in Cameroon

July 10th, 2009 · Comments Off on Doughy Justice in Cameroon

Cameroon’s Ministry of Trade does not mess around when it comes to enforcing the nation’s new price-control regime: Yesterday, officials of the Ministry of Trade uncovered a clandestine bakery at the Etoudi quarter in Yaounde which uses expired products to produce bread. One of the products that was seized and displayed at the site was […]

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Cheerios and Johnny Reb’s Ersatz Dough

May 28th, 2009 · 5 Comments

Like a zillion other toddlers, Microkhan Jr. loves him some Cheerios. And never more so when the circular cereal gives away toys—General Mills has recently been on a kick of offering a free Lego car in every box. For a fifteen-month-old obsessed with rolling objects, nothing could make that oat-y goodness any better. Yet Cheerios’ […]

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A Feast Fit for Khans

May 21st, 2009 · Comments Off on A Feast Fit for Khans

An American scholar digs into the sort of debauched Mongolian feast that, alas, we’ve only had in our wildest dreams: Sheep fat! Stuffed beef intestine! Goat’s head! Petrified curds, harder than jawbreakers! And, of course, buuz. I ate them all, these foods that not so long ago had my fork shaking. Two bottles of vodka […]

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Grind Seasoning

May 6th, 2009 · 2 Comments

Microkhan never tires of reading about the semi-ingenious concealment methods employed by drug smugglers. In today’s installment, an American college student allegedly attempts to shimmy her way out of Guyana while carrying gobs of cocaine. Her defense upon being caught, as explained by her lawyer to a Guyanese magistrate, is somewhat less-than-convincing: “It was quite […]

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I, Milkbot

May 4th, 2009 · 5 Comments

Growing up in Los Angeles, I always idealized cow milking. It seemed like such a delightful, salt-of-the-earth activity, with just the right amount of grossness thrown in for good measure. Plus, being the curious sort of bairn, I was always fascinated by the thought of tracing my beloved Kraft Singles back to the source. Turns […]

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Lion Meat Prices

April 14th, 2009 · 2 Comments

The latest furor over sales of lion meat spurred Microkhan to look up the delicacy’s pricing history. According to this 2003 article, a pound of lion meat then went for roughly $35, or $2.19 per ounce. Five years later, a reporter for the St. Petersburg Times had a 14-ounce lion chop at a steakhouse, a […]

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Dehorning Paste Smackdown

March 27th, 2009 · 3 Comments

Living here on the cramped island of Manhattan, where “nature” amounts to little more than the trees in Marcus Garvey Park, it’s easy to feel disconnected from our ranching brethren out West. So I occasionally try and force myself to get in touch with the ways of livestock management, the better to appreciate the care […]

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“Put a Little South in Your Mouth”

March 10th, 2009 · 3 Comments

Working on the screenplay yesterday, I spent way too many minutes groping for a way to describe a character’s gluttonous nature. I first described him as a fan of chicken gizzards, then of chicken skins, then of melted lard. I was close to wit’s end when the solution dawned on me: Pvt. Kelvin Brackett loves […]

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Cooking Marmots, Mongolian Style

February 13th, 2009 · 1 Comment

Because it’s Friday, and because I’m fascinated by all things Mongolian: An illustrated guide to barbecuing marmots. It’s all about the rocks in the stomach, apparently. (h/t Mstrmnd)

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Tacos for Strength

February 12th, 2009 · 2 Comments

I moved away from my native Los Angeles at the tender age of 17, and I’ve never seriously considered moving back. Great town, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve always felt my future lay elsewhere—Dublin, Dee Cee, and now (for the past decade) Gotham. That said, this site makes me crazy nostalgic for my hometown. […]

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This is Why You’re Fat

February 9th, 2009 · 1 Comment

A compendium of supreme artery cloggers. For the record, I’ve had the deep-fried Mars bar. Not sure I’ll ever be man enough for the Mega Pizza, which features pigs-in-blankets in lieu of crust. (h/t Joel)

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