No Bad Movie Friday this week, in part because we had a change of heart about calling out the 1993 Bruce Willis vehicle Striking Distance. Yes, it was almost certainly pitched to the producers as “Die Hard meets Serpico…on the water!” And we’ll never, ever buy Sarah Jessica Parker as a Pittsburgh cop. But watching
Tags:addiction·alcohol·Bruce Willis·drugs·Gregg Allman·movies·music·Striking Distance
We’ve recently been toying with the idea of self-publishing a book, but can’t quite seem to get over the feeling that such a maneuver will result in a disastrous labor-to-pay ratio. That said, we’ve been heartened to learn that putting out one’s own book is no longer the sole domain of conspiracy theorists and frustrated […]
Tags:1980s·books·James Bond·Kill Bond·Live and Let Die·Midnight Run·movies·Philippines·Yaphet Kotto
When we were just a few years older than Microkhan Jr. is now, we developed a serious fascination with the Pippi Longstocking movies. At the time, it didn’t occur to us that the characters’ voices were dubbed, or that Pippi’s Popeye-liked strength defied logical explanation. All we cared about was the special bond that “the […]
Tags:chimpanzees·monkeys·Most Valuable Primate·movies·primates·Robert Vince
One of the greatest movie-review slams we’ve come across in recent months is Nathan Rabin’s brutal takedown of I Hate Valentine’s Day, the latest project from My Big, Fat Greek Wedding mastermind Nia Vardalos. The whole pan is full of choice insults, but the apex comes in the kicker: “If the comic strip character Cathy […]
We here at Microkhan headquarters have been been shy about expressing our love for modern pentathlon, by far the most underrated sport in the Summer Olympics. And so we were recently overjoyed to discover that none other than Dolph Lundgren, one of the finest actors of the past half century, shares our affinity for the […]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·Dolph Lundgren·Hard Ticket to Hawaii·Invasion U.S.A.·modern pentathlon·movies·Olympics·Pentathlon·sports
Last night while cooking dinner, we decided to rev up a documentary that’s been languishing on our Netflix Instant queue for ages: Witch Hunt. Suffice to say that we weren’t anywhere near prepared for the ensuing 90 minutes, in which the filmmakers unwind a completely devastating J’accuse regarding the Kern County child-abuse panic of the […]
Tags:California·crime·economics·John Stoll·law·movies·South Korea·Witch Hunt
Before the film geeks among you point out that the photo above is from a movie released in 2005, please note the asterisk. See, our deal is that we didn’t really get out to the theater much this year—blame Microkhan Jr. and the economic decline, both of which conspired to keep us at home much […]
Tags:Best of Oh Nine·movies
We’re winding it down for Christmas, but not before we leave you with a minor token of our Yuletide gratitude: a clip from Yogi’s First Christmas, undoubtedly the best animated ursine-themed holiday film in existence. We’ve spent years trying to convince the world of this flick’s unheralded magnificence, a crusade which led us to write […]
Sad news out of Moscow, as word comes that Vladimir “Dynamite” Turchinsky has passed on. For those unfamiliar with the realm of Russian bodybuilding and/or action films, Turchinsky could legitimately lay claim to the title of “The Schwarzenegger of the East,” having transitioned from a successful athletic career to cinematic stardom. He also had an […]
Tags:bodybuilding·medical science·movies·plasmapheresis·Russia·sports·Vladimir Turchinsky
We have a complicated relationship with Cobra, and thus hesitated for a beat before deciding to honor it with this week’s Bad Movie Friday showcase spot. To its credit, the movie does a fine job of conjuring up a psycho murder cult, the members of which gather in warehouses to bang together axes in rhythmic […]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·Cobra·movies·Sylvester Stallone·The New York Times·vigilantism
We’re more than a little ashamed to admit we remember the brief Ewok craze of the mid-1980s, when two made-for-TV follow-ups to Return of the Jedi hit the tube. While we realize now that the Ewoks were a harbinger of the soul-crushing awfulness of Jar-Jar Binks, we were suckers for the furry critters back in […]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·Ewoks·movies·Star Wars·The Ewok Adventure
On one of our first-ever dates with the Grand Empress, we were smitten by the depth of her hostility toward The Loss of Sexual Innocence, arguably the most annoying, self-consciously bizarre film ever committed to celluloid—and thus prime fodder for the return of our semi-beloved Bad Movie Friday feature. Now, don’t get us wrong—we sorta […]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·Mike Figgis·movies·The Loss of Sexual Innocence
We’ve been thoroughly enjoying The A.V. Club‘s week-long “Best of the ’00s” series, including today’s installment on top cinematic performances. The site’s writers certainly did the right thing by including Samantha Morton’s star turn in Morvern Callar, one of our favorite movies of all time. The ending sequence, shown above, never ceases to create a […]
Tags:Lynne Ramsay·Morvern Callar·movies·music·Samantha Morton
We can honestly say we’ve never once been tempted to try phencyclidine. Nothing about the drug seems enjoyable in the slightest, starting with the fact that it tends to make grown men strip off all their clothes and rant like lunatics. (Exhibit A: Steve.) That said, it’s always nice to have cinematic confirmation that our […]
The recent dearth of posts has been due to a confluence of factors: a hectic sked of writing FOIA requests, the petty frustrations of trying to get the next Wired feature going, and the sheer agony of checking out potential preschools for Microkhan Jr. We’re almost through the worst of it, though, and we’ll be […]
After a week’s hiatus, Bad Movie Friday returns with a vengeance, in the form of the made-for-TV Rosie O’Donnell vehicle Riding the Bus with My Sister. Perhaps Ms. O’Donnell reckoned that her star turn as a mentally handicapped woman would be critic proof, as no one wants to be accused of insensitivity. But she didn’t […]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·movies·New York Times·Riding the Bus with My Sister·Rosie O'Donnell
Earlier this year, we rescued several heaping armfuls of vinyl from a building on our blocks that’s undergoing a gut renovation. Many of the platters were too damaged to be of use, but there were gems amidst the trash—most notably an original pressing of the soundtrack for Three Tough Guys (aka Tough Guys). The lead […]
Tags:Geto Boys·hip-hop·Isaac Hayes·movies·music·Three Tough Guys
Yesterday’s quick mention of religious snake handling set us off on a minor research tangent. We’re accustomed to witnessing the practice via cheesy TV segments, which have always struck us as a tad too overproduced to convey the emotional appeal of grasping serpents in the name of the Lord. Fortunately, The Tubes now contain a […]
Tags:Holy Ghost People·Jimmy Swaggert·movies·religion·reptiles·snake handling·snakes
After a tremendous week of work, contemplation, and gorging on fish tacos out here in Palo Alto, we’re heading back to Microkhan headquarters this evening. Not much time for blogging today, alas, as we try to suck a last few moments of enjoyment out of this trip. So we’re skipping right ahead to Bad Movie […]
Tags:Arnold Schwarzenegger·Bad Movie Friday·California·Commando·McBain·movies
We’re off taking advantage of our Stanford library privileges, in order to flesh out a few big-picture ideas. The wannabe emperor in the clip above, by contrast, could certainly do a better job of paying attention to the small picture—say, for example, by noticing that there are no sunsets in space. (Unless he has a […]
Instead of hitting you with our weekly Bad Movie Friday entry, we’ve decided to round out our cough-syrup trilogy with a classic ad: Oddjob shilling for Vicks Formula 44. Good thing there’s no narcotic in there to slow him down. And the phenylpropanolamine should make him a much more energetic opponent for Mr. Bond. We’re […]
Tags:advertising·James Bond·medicine·movies·Oddjob·TV·Vicks Formula 44
In response to our recent placeholder extolling the virtues of Stan Bush’s work on Bloodsport, one of our faithful Virginia correspondents turned us on to this 1988 exposé, which argues that the film’s biographical subject is a huckster. The piece is behind a subscription wall, so those without a ProQuest account will have to make […]
A quick Bad Movie Friday this week, as we’re absorbed in the game of narrative non-fiction writing (i.e. the gig that pays the bills ’round here). Let’s just say that we probably owe Krull another look; we saw it at a grade-school birthday party back when it came out, and probably didn’t yet have the […]
We’re up to our eyeballs with the day job, though happy to report that last night’s moderate alcohol consumption helped us overcome a serious creative block. This afternoon’s all about moving the narrative forward and avoiding mixed metaphors; in our absence, please enjoy what is inarguably Stan Bush‘s finest work. Not safe for the squeamish, […]
A pal of ours is on jury duty this week, and reminded us of one of the great pleasures of the process (at least in New York): getting to view Enter the Jury Room on your first morning. Narrated by the late Ed Bradley, the short film is surprisingly witty and informative, especially for those […]
Tags:Burma·crime·Ed Bradley·Enter the Jury Room·law·Medieval history·movies·trial by ordeal
This is the last post we scheduled before departing for Kenya last weekend—a Bad Movie Friday entry that rankles with its unrealistic depiction of vehicular combustion. Even the 1971 Ford Pinto wasn’t quite this fragile. Thanks to those of you stuck with us this week, despite knowing that a WordPress bot was at the posting […]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·cars·housekeeping·movies·Silent Night Deadly Night 2
On our forthcoming trip to Africa, we certainly hope we don’t suffer Kathy Ireland’s fate and slip into an underground realm populated by refugees from an Olivia Newton-John video. But we reckon anything’s possible, so we’ll be sure to conceal our surface-world origins should foam columns give way. Believe it or not, we actually saw […]
“The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.”–Vincent Van Gogh
Tags:Action Jackson·Carl Weathers·housekeeping·movies·Vincent Van Gogh
Unlike some past movies we’ve highlighted as part of Bad Movie Friday—notably the irredeemably dreadful Hard to Ticket to Hawaii—Gleaming the Cube is actually halfway watchable, provided you’re willing to switch off your brain for 90 minutes. But even when we’re feeling truly charitable, there are two things that can’t help but irk us to […]
Tags:1980s·Bad Movie Friday·Gleaming the Cube·movies·skating
Patrick Swayze starred in perhaps the most celebrated mom movie of all time—or, at the very least, the one that defined a certain kind of mom-ism in the latter Reagan Era. But we’ll always remember him as Dalton, the philosophical, mulleted boucer with a heart of gold and fists of stone. He now follows fellow […]
